Where do we go after death ?

How many of you have the answer for this question ? And what make you believe it?

If you take this question to most Christian, their answer will probably be “to heaven”.

But ironically me myself as a Catholic, I don’t really don’t have the belief of “people die and their soul will go to heaven”. I kept thinking of this question since I lost my grandaunt in May this year and it was the saddest thing ever happened in my life.

I have to say that I miss her a lot, possibly more than anybody, cause she is as close to me as my mom or even more than that. She is also the kindest person I have ever seen in my life and give me the greatest love. It is really hard for to get used to the world without her.

Ever since she was gone, what I kept myself thinking is “where is she now?” “Can she sees what I am doing now?” and sometimes l will have hard time to fall asleep in the silence night and I will get struck by the feeling telling me that “I still can’t believe that she is no longer with us”

I’m having hard time to deal with this complicated feeling inside me …

All I ask for is “God, please bring me out of this agony. If I believe in you, why I can’t believe that she is sitting right next to you in the heaven? And please tell her that I miss her a lot. Amen”